The Single Life on Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day day is here! If you are single, I don’t want you to worry! Don’t be like Danielle Staub from Real Housewives of New Jersey in the gif above. I got you! Let’s do this together, ok? To begin, I can talk to you about how I coped, because, I got married at 34, chile. So, I spent MANY Valentine’s days alone and at home staring the walls until I snapped out of it.

As a reminder, I was engaged once before I met my husband and everything ended abruptly when I caught my fiancee cheating. Like, literally caught him red handed. It was Valentine’s weekend! And to make it even more quirkly, he proposed to me on Valentine’s Day a year before. What are the odds?! Well apparrently, there’s been some research to show we were doomed on that day from the start.

I later came to learn that the University of Melbourne found those who marry on February 14 are 37% more likely to divorce. They are also 45% less likely to make it to their third anniversary than couples who marry on normal days. So, if that’s the marriage rate data, I see now why my proposal was a cold wet noodle that didn’t even stick to the wall. God knew best. He had my future with the true love of my life in mind the entire time. But, I digress!

I had a good reason to dread the day, but, I refused to not take it as a day to pamper myself. It’s a day about love , right? I thought, “I have to make sure to still make this a special day because I am special” (Psalm 139:14). Me being single was sad and devastating to me, but, I refused to stay home and allow the enemy to bring any more depression to me. I was daily battling depression. I deserved to have something to look forward to. I also realized that these special moments of being single were God grounding me deeper in findng comfort and security in being alone and getting to know myself until my husband came.

So, here are 5 things I did over the years to make my Valentine’s Day the best as a single girl. Let me know what you think!

  1. Galentine’s Fun!

My friends and I got together and made reservations at a cool sushi restaurant and caught a chic flick. Then, we came home and talked and laughed all night. Doesn’t sound like much, but, it was a blast to hang out with friends who were all in the same boat. Remember, when single and when you’re dating, don’t ever forsake your relationships and quality time with real girlfriends. It will get you through more than you know!

2. Do not give in to old snakes!

This may be a time when that ex all of a sudden wants to pop back up and see if you have any plans, ie: capitolizing on your lonliness. Or, a guy who you don’t really care for asks you if you wanna hang out. Out of boredom, you jump on one of these opportunitues only to regret it later. Remember! Even accepting this because, “you have nothing better to do” is still a form of chasing attention. If you dont like him like that…don’t go! Its not that serious, sis! Take this time to really be with yourself or friends. Don’t force anything and go home feeling empty. You can do this!

3. Pamper Yourself!

Go get a massage, or have the masseuse come to you! Visit the nail salon, take yourself shopping or order takeout and watch movies that make you laugh. Someone I know even cooks a new recipe for herself and buys a nice bottle of wine. Whatever relaxes you and makes you feel indulgent, go for it! Its truly your day.

4. Focus on your goals.

The day is about loving you. Put some music on, have your favorite snack and sit down somewhere and write out your goals. Update your vision board, make a financial plan, start chapter one of that book you want to write or work on your website or blog for you passion or venture. If you go this route, you will know your day wasn’t wasted at all. You bypassed the distraction of a romantic holiday and invested in you.

5. Affirm Yourself!

Lastly, make some declarations over yourself or spend some time in prayer to chase off lonliness and depression. No matter how you feel, set the tone of your day by stating powerful words (Prov 18:21). Try this prayer Devon Franklin recently posted.

There you have it! You can get through this day with joy, peace and lots of fun or relaxation. Don’t dread Valentine’s Day! Enjoy it. Remember, you are still loved. By God. Hold on to that and bask in it. You’re not alone. I’m right here with you!

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Cortni Hill Washington
Cortni Hill Washington

My name is Cortni HIll Washington and I am the author of Red Flags: A Girl’s Guide to Dating. I am so excited to start this journey with you! I have been waiting so long to share all of my business! The laughter, the dating drama, and the tears.

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